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The background noise in the mind

The mind is so occupied by the news, thoughts and anxiety surrounding the all-pervading covid-19 pandemic that it is almost impossible to think of anything else these days, much less feel the enthusiasm to write about anything. It's like the background noise murmuring in the brain, but this noise is growing so much in magnitude every day that it's starting to corrupt the signals! Every phone call, every little chat, every channel in the TV, every social media post - is all about Covid now, mostly. The brain is saturated, tired and worried by this shit of a pandemic. 

And I am lucky. Super lucky. Many of us are super lucky, in fact. We aren't the front-line workers battling this pandemic - we aren't the nurses & doctors, the house-keeping and cleaning staff, the ambulance drivers and the ward guys who work in the hospital and who not only face immense risk to their lives and health but also are working at their breaking point, rendering the noblest service to humankind. We aren't even the crematorium staff working round the clock without proper pay or sleep, often working 15+ hours a day to ensure there's no severe pile-up of bodies. 'Bodies' were alive, walking & laughing human beings just a few hours ago, maybe a few days ago. 'Bodies' had creativity, job and their social media account, 'bodies' had their loved ones. 'Bodies' had their own identities. 'Bodies' were part of the society's functioning, were part of the nation. 

We aren't even the police and security personnel working tirelessly during these testing times. We aren't even the Amazon or Zomato or Swiggy or <<online delivery platforms>> delivery executives who go from door to door, from block to block in their two-wheelers, to deliver food/parcels/essentials and even non-essentials like fish/meat/desserts/books etc. to us. I asked my wife today - Imagine their risks every day! Why are they doing it? Why are they delivering us food, vegetables? Because they make 'our' lives more comfortable, hassle-free. 

We aren't the truck drivers, the shop owners, the logistics people, the municipality folks, the cleaning staff, either. We aren't the below middle-class or struggling economic class either, worried about being able to feed our families if lock-down persists for a few more weeks, perhaps one more week. Our jobs are at stake, our daily income sources have been stopped due to the restrictions. Our savings are minuscule and fast dwindling - no, we do not belong to this group either. 

We are the privileged ones, enjoying food/essentials & non-essentials right at our door-step in metro cities, not worried about our finances/job/income. We have access to the internet/TV and books to pass the time, to be with our loved ones. We have the luxury of working from home while millions are struggling out there. 

And so, if we complain about our frustrations on being confined within our homes and about our inability to venture/travel out, then the other group of people - who're battling this covid as frontline fighters - will certainly get pissed and angry. And understandably so.

I don't dispute that we are the privileged ones, not having to battle this pandemic. And so, this post isn't about comparing our difficulties with those of the frontline warriors. There is no comparison. But, mental health is just extremely important a thing. Being confined inside home for days, weeks, months and more than a year, does take a serious toll on the mental health. I won't even talk about possible depression, claustrophobia and hopelessness that make daily lives a severely suffocating affair. I won't talk about how this is fracturing the balance between job and family life, affecting both at the expense of the other. There is a growing restlessness in our minds, an unusual impatience at this house arrest. And by house arrest, I do not just mean a lockdown enforced by the government. Even without lockdown, it's quite unlikely that we can step out of our homes except for emergencies, given how ridiculously fast this shit of a virus is spreading! 

I feel miserable for the kids. Toddlers do not know what they're missing but we as parents are aware of what we're depriving them of due to this house arrest. School-going kids are facing a different set of challenges with online classes and assignments, inability to mingle with friends physically or play sports etc. Those who're appearing for 10th or 12th board exams, are facing yet another type of problem. Those who're in undergraduate studies, those who're doing postgraduate studies, those who're pursuing PhD -- they are all facing unique challenges, frustrating situations which are forcing them to stare at uncertain futures. 

These may cause serious mental health issues for quite a lot of people. And this could be damaging in the long term too. I guess mental health and the need for socializing will gain more importance in the post-covid world. 

And then there is 'hope'. My friends in USA tell me their kids are going to daycare, and that over 50% of the population are vaccinated. I know such a day will come here too, when my kid will go to kindergarten without any fear of covid, when I don't need to wear the mask any more when I visit the Starbucks at Orion Mall. Such a day will come soon enough. For now, I am hoping, believing, expecting, praying and wishing, that the peak passes by in the next 2 weeks. Once the daily count starts decreasing every day, it gives me a good vibe. Till then, we drag through this darkness and monotony for two more weeks, hopefully! We hang in there. 

"We will find a solution to any problem. We always have." -- Interstellar (movie). 





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