8 years at IISc

 

Four days ago, I completed eight years at IISc, or, in the Indian academic system. Time does fly rather fast, and I’m sure, it’ll not be long before I stand on the last working day of my career in 2050 (if I’m not dead due to an accident or a disease by then), looking back at my life on the day of my retirement. That would be the day I can look back and realize whether or not, as a researcher I made any positive impact - howsoever incremental, on the society over the 36 years of my career. Of these 36 years, 8 years have gone by, just like that, in the blink of an eye!

I’ve been wanting to write something for the past several days on my 8 years at IISc but I must play the same old, boring gramophone record again, which is – there isn’t just enough time to sit and write! I am sitting on a journal rebuttal/response letter of a student who needs to graduate soon; I am also piling up stuff on at least two manuscripts written by two other PhD students (they’ll all chew my head if they find out I’m writing this rather than reviewing their drafts!), and haven’t taken a look at a pending disclosure form, not to mention about not writing three pending project progress reports for which I’m going to get whipped from funding agencies very soon, and I need to send reviews of a few journal papers (it’s embarrassing to get repeated reminder emails from Editors!). You see that? I am sounding like a cry baby already, whining and cribbing about life as if only my life is messed up and everyone else’s life is sorted!

Anyway, the only thing I had wanted to write today about, and in a crisp manner, was that I’ve been learning and growing over the years as an academician, as a supervisor to students, and as a researcher. I am continuously learning at the cost of expensive mistakes and embarrassing situations, but I am happy about the fact that I am learning! I’ve made serious mistakes as a faculty/researcher in these 8 years, made more even more serious mistakes as an advisor to many PhD and Masters students, and have sometimes not learnt from my mistakes in the sense that, I’ve repeated a few mistakes again and again! But I am learning and growing, for sure. And making conscious efforts to not repeat any more mistakes.

Do I regret those mistakes? I should regret, but I do not, because those mistakes are defining who I am, and who I become. Those mistakes are helping me learn, correct myself and grow. Life is but a collection of decisions we take, and thus, mistakes are mostly errors in decisions which we make, in judgments which we take. I don’t want to write about my mistakes for now but one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made during my earlier years at IISc was in not being appreciative about the value of ‘time’ and being unable to grasp how precious ‘time’ really is. But now, I am very much aware of the value of ‘time’.

When I had joined IISc in 2014, I thought I was an expert in my area of research (which is gallium nitride devices), and I felt that I knew a lot about it. Wisdom starts kicking in slowly with time, and some sort of maturity sets in as one ages. Now, in 2022, I am actually smart enough to know how dumb I am. And now, I truly know that I know very little even in my own area of research! I am learning every day, technically speaking, from my peers/colleagues/students, and from reading books. And I increasingly feel that I’m a student, because there’s just an infinite amount of knowledge to acquire in the very narrow area of my own research, not to speak of any other area! And this is NOT a fake modesty, this is NOT a superficial humility. I actually know that I know very little. And this is an amazing feeling!